Q: What is your favorite flavor of ants?
A: Nothing! I don't like ants. That was totally a random question.
Q: Well, that is the name of this post. Why don't you like ants?
A: Because they are insects.
Q: What have you got against insects?
A: Pretty much the only insects I like are lady bugs.
Q: What do lady bugs taste like?
A: Why in the world did you ask that? I don't know! I haven't tried lady bugs.
Q: But you just said that lady bugs were the only insect you liked. How do you know you like them if you haven't tried one?
A: That is so random. And confusing. Can you please move on. No more bugs please.
Q: Okay. What color underwear do you wear on your head?
A: No color. I'm not a butt head.
Q: You have colorless underwear on your head?
A: UHG!!! I don't wear underwear on my head!!!!
Q: Do you still keep little tiny frogs in your hair?
A: No.
Q: They probably kept getting your hair all slimy, right? Is that why you got rid of them?
A: I never HAD frogs in my hair. Ask regular every day interview questions.
Q: But the title of the blog is Random Questions. Should I change the title to "Boring everyday questions?"
A: No, but at least ask me one regular question.
Q: Okay. How old was Queen Victoria when she became Queen of England, and Empress of the British Empire?
A: How in the world am I supposed to know that! I'm only seven years old!
Q: Well you don't seem to be very good at the "regular questions." Would you rather eat a moldy doughnut or stand on your head under a stream of green slime?
A: Neither.
Q: I'm sorry, but you have to choose one or the other. That's the rules. So, which is it?
A:Get on with it!
Q: Answer the question please. Which would you rather? Moldy doughnut or green slime?
A: Now that I think about it... green slime.
Q: Yuck! Next question: Would you rather answer another would you rather question, or stand outside in the rain without an umbrella?
A: Stand in the rain without an umbrella.
Q: Okay, but it's pretty dark out there. Get going. You should put some shoes on first.
A: Oh my gosh. Would you rather questions are only funny questions that people ask to see other people's personalities!
Q: What's a personality? Do you have a personality? Where do you keep it? Do you let other people see it?
A: That's complicated.
Q: That's okay. We've got time.
A: Well... a personality is...
Q: You don't know, do you? You just made up that word, didn't you?
A: No I didn't! It's just hard to explain.
Q: That's just what you would say if you'd made it up. So until you explain it, I'll keep on thinking you made it up.
A: Oh please. I've got to go to bed. I'll explain it tomorrow.
Q: That's what I thought. You're just playing for time so you can make something up. I'm on to you.
A: UGH!!!! Goodnight! I gotta go...
Q: Yeah, well, you were just making up that stuff about "personalities" anyway. Might as well post this now.
A: Whatever.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Rapunzel and the three bears
Once there was a girl named Rapunzel. Her mother told her to go to the village to buy muffins. Her mother told her not to take the short cut. She heard that bears live there. But Rapunzel was one of those naughty little girls who did what ever she wished.
Rapunzel started walking towards the short cut. After walking for about an hour she finally came to the short cut. She was half lucky to be a naughty girl, because if you take the long way it's about 13 hours. But taking the short cut was dangerous. Her mother had heard right. There were bears in the short cut.
Now, into the bear's beeswax: One day Mama Bear was making apple pudding for breakfast. Baby Bear said, "Mom do I really have to eat this? It looks really disgusting."
"Oh, pish!" Said Mama Bear, "You'll love this. It's caramel apple pudding."
"Oh, whatever." Said Baby Bear. "I just took a tiny taste, and it's really hot!"
Papa Bear said, "We should take a ride while it cools down."
Mama Bear said, "Perfect."
"Last one to the car is a rotten egg!!!!!!!!!!" Said Baby Bear as he raced to their teal convertible.
Once they were gone for ten minutes, Rapunzel arrived at their door. She was carrying her hair, and it was really heavy. That's why she wanted to take the short cut. I mean, just think about having 50 miles of hair, and having to carry it for 13 hours! That would be HORRIBLE!
Rapunzel knocked on the door, but no one answered. Then it started to rain! She remembered now she forgot to wear shoes. That was okay when she was just walking on dry dirt, but now, it was mud. She had to get inside immediately! She ran inside the door. It was unlocked. Nobody comes through the short cut, so it was unlocked.
She found some slippers on the floor. There three pairs in a row. One pair: big. One pair: medium sized. And one pair: small. Rapunzel tried on the biggest pair. They were too bouncy. They were so bouncy she got bounced around by the slippers, and bonked her head on the ceiling. She took them off and put them where they were.
She tried on the medium sized slippers. They were way too soft. She felt like she was sinking into the floor. Of course she wasn't actually sinking into the floor.
Then she tried on the smallest pair. They felt just right. Not too bouncy, not too soft. In fact they made her want to dance all around. And that's exactly what she did for 13 minutes. Then she got hungry.
She walked into the kitchen. She found three bowls of caramel apple pudding. Three bowls in a triangle. She tried the biggest bowl, and shouted, "Ahhghhh! Tongue burn! Tongue burn!!!"
She tried the medium sized bowl, and shouted "Ahhghhh! Ice in my mouth!!!"
She tried the smallest bowl, and it was just right. She ate all of it.
She wanted to sit down, but there were no chairs at the dining room table, because bears don't need to sit down when they're eating. Rapunzel went into the living room. She found three chairs. She sat in the biggest chair. It felt so hard that her booty hurt.
Next she sat in the medium sized chair. She didn't know it was really, really, really soft, until she sunk so far that only her face could be seen.(and her hair of course!) "Auughhh! this chair is EVIL!" She pushed on the cushions, and with difficulty, she got out.
Then she sat in the smallest chair. It was just right. Not too hard, and not too soft. So she sat there, and looked around the room. She saw a purse that had the initials "G" and "L" on it. "Gordon Lasso?" she guessed. "I wonder why a boy would have purse." She said to herself. She looked around some more, and saw some brown fur on the ground.
"They must have puppies." She thought.
She got up and felt tired. After lugging around 50 miles of hair, wouldn't you feel tired?!
Then she went up stairs and found three beds in a room. She tried the biggest bed. It was as hard as that chair. It was so hard, she could barely lay down. "Ouch!" She yelled, rubbing her elbow. "My funny bone! I don't know why they call it the funny bone, because it's not funny when you hurt it."
Then she tried the medium sized bed. "THIS BED IS EVIL!" She shouted, but you barely hear her because she had sunk so deep into the soft, soft mattress. Fortunately she could move her arms this time. She used her hair to grab onto the bed post, and pull herself out.
Next she tried to the smallest bed. It was just right, so she started to take a nap. After only a few minutes she was fast asleep.
She had been asleep for about 20 minutes when the bears came home.
Baby Bear went in screaming that his slippers were gone! When his parents came in, he was in the dining room, screaming, because his pudding was gone! (he secretly liked it!)
When he went into the living room, he screamed for the third time because he knew somebody had been sitting in his chair.
"It's that Goldilocks again!" he shouted. "She must have heard we got new slippers, and now she's wearing mine! And she ate my pudding! And she sat in my chair!"
"At least she didn't break it this time." said Mama Bear. "She must be on a diet."
"Well she ate all my pudding," said Baby Bear, "so she's not on it anymore!"
"Wait!" said Papa Bear. "Last time we found her in Baby Bear's bed. Lets go look up there!"
"Excellent!" Said Baby Bear, and they all ran up stairs. But they did not find Goldilocks in Baby Bear's bed. In fact, they couldn't even find Baby Bear's bed! The room was filled with bright shiny golden hair.
"OH MY GOSH!" yelled Mama Bear! "Look at all this hair! Goldilocks must have grown her hair out as long as Rapunzel's!"
"Can you see anything but yellow?" asked Baby Bear.
"No, no I can't." Said Papa Bear.
Papa Bear managed to open the window, and a lot of the hair came flying out of it. Rapunzel woke up.
She heard the bears talking. She peeked through her hair, and saw the bears. She screamed!
Rapunzel didn't have time to say anything. She was already out the window!
"Boy," said Papa Bear,"I hope we don't ever see her again."
Rapunzel started walking towards the short cut. After walking for about an hour she finally came to the short cut. She was half lucky to be a naughty girl, because if you take the long way it's about 13 hours. But taking the short cut was dangerous. Her mother had heard right. There were bears in the short cut.
Now, into the bear's beeswax: One day Mama Bear was making apple pudding for breakfast. Baby Bear said, "Mom do I really have to eat this? It looks really disgusting."
"Oh, pish!" Said Mama Bear, "You'll love this. It's caramel apple pudding."
"Oh, whatever." Said Baby Bear. "I just took a tiny taste, and it's really hot!"
Papa Bear said, "We should take a ride while it cools down."
Mama Bear said, "Perfect."
"Last one to the car is a rotten egg!!!!!!!!!!" Said Baby Bear as he raced to their teal convertible.
Once they were gone for ten minutes, Rapunzel arrived at their door. She was carrying her hair, and it was really heavy. That's why she wanted to take the short cut. I mean, just think about having 50 miles of hair, and having to carry it for 13 hours! That would be HORRIBLE!
Rapunzel knocked on the door, but no one answered. Then it started to rain! She remembered now she forgot to wear shoes. That was okay when she was just walking on dry dirt, but now, it was mud. She had to get inside immediately! She ran inside the door. It was unlocked. Nobody comes through the short cut, so it was unlocked.
She found some slippers on the floor. There three pairs in a row. One pair: big. One pair: medium sized. And one pair: small. Rapunzel tried on the biggest pair. They were too bouncy. They were so bouncy she got bounced around by the slippers, and bonked her head on the ceiling. She took them off and put them where they were.
She tried on the medium sized slippers. They were way too soft. She felt like she was sinking into the floor. Of course she wasn't actually sinking into the floor.
Then she tried on the smallest pair. They felt just right. Not too bouncy, not too soft. In fact they made her want to dance all around. And that's exactly what she did for 13 minutes. Then she got hungry.
She walked into the kitchen. She found three bowls of caramel apple pudding. Three bowls in a triangle. She tried the biggest bowl, and shouted, "Ahhghhh! Tongue burn! Tongue burn!!!"
She tried the medium sized bowl, and shouted "Ahhghhh! Ice in my mouth!!!"
She tried the smallest bowl, and it was just right. She ate all of it.
She wanted to sit down, but there were no chairs at the dining room table, because bears don't need to sit down when they're eating. Rapunzel went into the living room. She found three chairs. She sat in the biggest chair. It felt so hard that her booty hurt.
Next she sat in the medium sized chair. She didn't know it was really, really, really soft, until she sunk so far that only her face could be seen.(and her hair of course!) "Auughhh! this chair is EVIL!" She pushed on the cushions, and with difficulty, she got out.
Then she sat in the smallest chair. It was just right. Not too hard, and not too soft. So she sat there, and looked around the room. She saw a purse that had the initials "G" and "L" on it. "Gordon Lasso?" she guessed. "I wonder why a boy would have purse." She said to herself. She looked around some more, and saw some brown fur on the ground.
"They must have puppies." She thought.
She got up and felt tired. After lugging around 50 miles of hair, wouldn't you feel tired?!
Then she went up stairs and found three beds in a room. She tried the biggest bed. It was as hard as that chair. It was so hard, she could barely lay down. "Ouch!" She yelled, rubbing her elbow. "My funny bone! I don't know why they call it the funny bone, because it's not funny when you hurt it."
Then she tried the medium sized bed. "THIS BED IS EVIL!" She shouted, but you barely hear her because she had sunk so deep into the soft, soft mattress. Fortunately she could move her arms this time. She used her hair to grab onto the bed post, and pull herself out.
Next she tried to the smallest bed. It was just right, so she started to take a nap. After only a few minutes she was fast asleep.
She had been asleep for about 20 minutes when the bears came home.
Baby Bear went in screaming that his slippers were gone! When his parents came in, he was in the dining room, screaming, because his pudding was gone! (he secretly liked it!)
When he went into the living room, he screamed for the third time because he knew somebody had been sitting in his chair.
"It's that Goldilocks again!" he shouted. "She must have heard we got new slippers, and now she's wearing mine! And she ate my pudding! And she sat in my chair!"
"At least she didn't break it this time." said Mama Bear. "She must be on a diet."
"Well she ate all my pudding," said Baby Bear, "so she's not on it anymore!"
"Wait!" said Papa Bear. "Last time we found her in Baby Bear's bed. Lets go look up there!"
"Excellent!" Said Baby Bear, and they all ran up stairs. But they did not find Goldilocks in Baby Bear's bed. In fact, they couldn't even find Baby Bear's bed! The room was filled with bright shiny golden hair.
"OH MY GOSH!" yelled Mama Bear! "Look at all this hair! Goldilocks must have grown her hair out as long as Rapunzel's!"
"Can you see anything but yellow?" asked Baby Bear.
"No, no I can't." Said Papa Bear.
Papa Bear managed to open the window, and a lot of the hair came flying out of it. Rapunzel woke up.
She heard the bears talking. She peeked through her hair, and saw the bears. She screamed!
Rapunzel didn't have time to say anything. She was already out the window!
"Boy," said Papa Bear,"I hope we don't ever see her again."
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Cloudy with a chance of donuts part 2
Ruby looked at the mayor.The mayor had never acted so weird.He usually is very calm.And Ruby just wondered why he would not eat a donut."Mayor,"Ruby said,"why don't you want a bite?"the mayor frowned.He was just annoyed she had asked that .
(I know this was short,but the rest of the story will continue in,Cloudy with a chance of donuts part3.)
(I know this was short,but the rest of the story will continue in,Cloudy with a chance of donuts part3.)
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Cloudy with a chance of DONUTS
One day Ruby E. Johnson was taking her dog for a walk. Suddenly, a strange thing fell out of the sky, and into her hand. It was round, and it had chocolate stuff on it, and rainbow circles too. She'd never seen anything like it. She looked at that thingy-ma-bobby-foodie and then she opened her mouth and took a bite! She said "UMMMM!!!" Then she went home and looked it up on her computer.
She discovered that it was called a "donut."
She went to tell the mayor. "Mayor," she said, "look what I found! It just fell out of the sky into my hand, automatically!"
"Oh," said the mayor, "that looks, um, like a, um, well, it looks like... I give up. What is it?"
"It's a DONUT! And it's delicious!" cried Ruby.
"Okay," said the mayor, "What am I supposed to do about it?"
Ruby shrugged, and said "I don't know. I just wanted to show you! I've never seen like it, and I thought you would like to see it."
"Well you thought wrong." he replied. "That looks disgusting."
"Don't you want a bite?" She asked. "It's really yummy. If you don't do it, I'll stuff it into your mouth."
"Don't be silly. I'm the mayor!" he said proudly. "I don't need any of your 'donuts.'" He turned his back to her for one second, but at that same exact time, she sneaked up behind him and stuffed the donut into his mouth!
Then the mayor screamed and ran all over the place. Then he stopped, and said, "Hmmm. This is yummy! But only a schmidge!!!"
She discovered that it was called a "donut."
She went to tell the mayor. "Mayor," she said, "look what I found! It just fell out of the sky into my hand, automatically!"
"Oh," said the mayor, "that looks, um, like a, um, well, it looks like... I give up. What is it?"
"It's a DONUT! And it's delicious!" cried Ruby.
"Okay," said the mayor, "What am I supposed to do about it?"
Ruby shrugged, and said "I don't know. I just wanted to show you! I've never seen like it, and I thought you would like to see it."
"Well you thought wrong." he replied. "That looks disgusting."
"Don't you want a bite?" She asked. "It's really yummy. If you don't do it, I'll stuff it into your mouth."
"Don't be silly. I'm the mayor!" he said proudly. "I don't need any of your 'donuts.'" He turned his back to her for one second, but at that same exact time, she sneaked up behind him and stuffed the donut into his mouth!
Then the mayor screamed and ran all over the place. Then he stopped, and said, "Hmmm. This is yummy! But only a schmidge!!!"
Friday, April 27, 2012
What if Donuts Were Like People?
If donuts were like people where would they live?
They would live in houses made of sweets. Hopefully, not in the desert.
What color hair would they have?
Whatever color their frosting is. But if they don't have any frosting, their hair would just be black. Or, they could be bald.
What would a donut want for Christmas?
That's a hard one. A bag of sprinkles.
Where would a donut go on vacation?
They would go to a place with no people. Because, if there were people, they would eat them.
The donuts would eat the people???
No! I mean the place with no people would have lots of fruit trees.
What does that mean?
Well, you know what fruit is, and you know what trees are!
Yes, I do, but what do fruit trees have to do with donuts eating people?
The donuts do NOT eat people.
Oh. My mistake. Do donuts have hands and feet?
Yes.
They would live in houses made of sweets. Hopefully, not in the desert.
What color hair would they have?
Whatever color their frosting is. But if they don't have any frosting, their hair would just be black. Or, they could be bald.
What would a donut want for Christmas?
That's a hard one. A bag of sprinkles.
Where would a donut go on vacation?
They would go to a place with no people. Because, if there were people, they would eat them.
The donuts would eat the people???
No! I mean the place with no people would have lots of fruit trees.
What does that mean?
Well, you know what fruit is, and you know what trees are!
Yes, I do, but what do fruit trees have to do with donuts eating people?
The donuts do NOT eat people.
Oh. My mistake. Do donuts have hands and feet?
Yes.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
What if cats could drive?
What would their cars be made out of?
Their cars would be made out of tuna fish cans with tires made out of catnip rings.
What would their driving licenses look like?
They would be round like a pet license, and they would wear them around their necks, with their picture printed right in the middle.
What would the seat belts be made of?
The seat belts would be made of cat collars. They would come in pink and purple with fake diamonds studded in them.
Their cars would be made out of tuna fish cans with tires made out of catnip rings.
What would their driving licenses look like?
They would be round like a pet license, and they would wear them around their necks, with their picture printed right in the middle.
What would the seat belts be made of?
The seat belts would be made of cat collars. They would come in pink and purple with fake diamonds studded in them.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
What if you were in Candy Land?
What kind of pets would they have?
Their bodies would be made out of--I don't know if it's candy or not, but at least it's sweet: fruit snacks. The puppy ears would be made out Pringles potato chips.
Would people in Candy Land ride bikes?
I don't know... What would they be made out of? This time it's your turn to think about it.
Well, how about peppermint sticks for the bike frames, but what would you make the wheels out of?
Pepperment candy. Those little mint circle things.
That makes sense. So, what are the rivers like in Candy Land?
I don't know! Chocolate milk?
Like in Willie Wonka's Chocolate factory?
Umm hmm.
Are there ducks swimming in the chocolate milk?
Yes. And we gotta talk about what they're made of... because they're candy.
What are they made of?
The beaks are made out of chips. The bodies are strawberry shaped fruit snacks. And the eyes are M&M's.
Don't ducks poop in the chocolate milk?
Yes, they poop jelly beans.
That's disgusting!
But delicious!
Hi there! It's Matti and Grandpa Birdsong
This first picture is by Matti. It's called Susie with Stars. Matti drew it for fun, using Grandpa's Cintiq tablet. You can see it in a new book coming out soon. Grandpa Brett used it in the book to decorate one of the main character's bedroom.
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